Ugly Trees and Roots

This week as I walked the property with a client at a house with 5 acres they are in process of buying, we came across this tree beside the creek.  One buyer commented to the other, “How is that tree even still alive?”  The other responded, “It has roots.”  I just tucked that away and paused to see it.  Not just look at it.  Of all the tall straight hardwood trees that surrounded us, it did stand out.  It is not really pretty. It does grab your attention.  It made me stop and have a moment.  A moment to think about roots, about unpretty trees, about what makes it that way.

Instantly I thought of a verse—Psalm 1:3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water…in whatever he does, he prospers.

Yes, this tree is firmly planted.  It is a wonder it is still standing.

How often do we feel that away about our lives? I know I sure do.  We long for straightness.  Tallness. Perfection.   But yet we end up gnarled.  Ugly.  Crooked.  Barely hanging on.

Except for our roots.  Roots are powerful.  Roots feed us from the inside out.  Roots draw from where we are planted and give us the nourishment we need to survive all of the storms, seasons, winds and other natural forces around us.  Roots make it ok to be gnarled.  Ugly.  Crooked. Just barely hanging on.   

We need to look at what are our roots.  What feeds our soul. Yes, the Word of God.   The love of God. But what else?  

Relationships.  Family.  Friends.

Quiet reflection.  Enjoying nature.  Doing things we that bring us joy. 

Love.  Hope.  Peace. 

Laughing.  Loving.  Living.

Life is too short to miss a moment.  I was so glad for this one to take a moment to reflect on roots and ugly trees beside a quiet stream.

Comfort

As a southerner, a word I like to put with comfort is food.  I think about things like country fried steak and mashed potatoes.  Homemade mac & cheese.  Chicken pot pie.  Tomato soup and grilled cheese. Lasagna. It's lunch time, can you tell? :)

But comfort is a word that grieving persons understand.  Yet something that is very hard to feel, at times.  It is hard to receive comfort because that means that it is ok.  You certainly don't feel like things are all ok.

How does one find comfort? How did I find comfort?  For the first week, I was carried.  Carried by prayers.  Literally surrounded by them.  Carried by shock.  Barely putting one foot in front of the other but yet moving ahead.  I still had two amazing kids who needed a mom.  I still had things to do.  I still had to live.

Comfort came in time.  Comfort still comes.  A note from a friend. A hug.  Even having a friend come fold your laundry with you.  Or bring dinner (like said comfort food above).  Comfort comes from THE Comforter, who knows the heart of God and that God is God and has a plan for your life.

A comfort even that still comes years later is instant heart friends who have also experienced infant or pregnancy loss.  No words are needed.  You both know how it felt to hold the still body of your child.  You both know how heartwrenching it was to bury that body in the ground.  Dust to dust.  But you share the hope of seeing him one day again in glory.  Knowing that Jesus Himself holds your baby.

Comfort is the presence of God.  We see that Presence wherever we go.  In His creation.  In His children.  In our hearts.

We are comforted to be able to comfort others.  A verse that had a new meaning for me is 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NASB)

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Comfort comes. God's presence heals.  Healing is comfort.

This week.

This week is one I dread every year.  Leading up to the birthday of my son born silently.  This year is 11.

I emptied my heart completely in October when I made it about 10 days into a 30 day writing challenge with other moms about our losses.  It ripped me to pieces to go through that exercise.  But is also was very freeing and healing to share my story and my heart.

This year I want to write a few posts this week about lessons learned from my sweet boy. Today love.

Love is God. God is love. He loves us more than we know. He has loved us since the beginning of time.  He will love us forever.

I think we get so caught up in the details, the do's and don'ts, that we lose sight of the love of God.  This morning the sunrise sky reminded my of His love.  Last week a beautiful flower in an ugly forest showed me.  He is there. He loves me.

How different would we, would I, live if we/I truly lived in that kind of love??  Perfect love.  His perfect love.  Perfect love casts out fear.  Fear involves punishment and the one who fears is NOT perfected in love.  (I John 4:18)  I am perfect in His love,  I am whole.  I am beautiful.  I am so loved.  And so are you.  

Abide in that love.  Live in it.  Float in it.  Swim in it.  BE in it.  Let it carry you as it did me through a horrific time yet one I wouldn't trade for the world.  No mother should bury a child.  No person should be without God's love.  

Empty arms ache.  A still womb is not natural.  Empty hearts ache.  Still souls are not how we are to live.  

Live life.  Don't miss a moment. Always see the beauty with the ugliness.